“Would You Fuck These Old Ladies?”
I see so many online banner ads with photos of older, bare-breasted women, with the caption: “These old ladies are horny and want to fuck you!”
Now, I’m not about to suggest such ads are a complete lie, but they certainly fall into the One simple secret for a bigger dick! territory. (Allow me to save you the time and money: the “secret” is diet and exercise — nothing stiffens-your-dickens quite like it, I promise, and you’re welcome.)
Let’s examine the contents of these “Old Lady” ads:
- “old ladies” Apparently, to these ad-makers (and, sadly, to many guys the world over), “old lady” refers to any woman over the age of forty. So unless you have a fetish for grannies using walkers, prepare to be pleasantly surprised — and satisfied. Older women are great in bed!
- “are horny” Why do so many people (mostly men) think that being horny is a sensation owned by the young? Sure, getting old might prevent us from swinging our legs over our shoulders the way we once might have, but the desire remains — and it needs to be satisfied… so always bring your A-game.
- “and want to fuck you” Well, d’uh — see number 2. It’s like, newsflash, if they’re horny, why wouldn’t they want to fuck? And why shouldn’t they want to fuck?
I’ve often stood on my soapbox within these pages to help demystify the Almighty Cougar. But these banner ads have loaded my cannons for an offensive attack, and here’s why:
1. I’m seeing them on my web-based email site! WTF?!
2. The pics they use seem to be purposely (or purposefully, maybe?) unflattering.
3. If these ads boasted “older women with a twist” sorta thing (choose a “twist” to your liking), then that would be different — it would suggest something niche-y. But instead, all women past their 40’s are clumped together as if that age-range is in itself some kind of fetish.
How sad. And offensive. And off-mark. I hope these companies go bankrupt.