Ask Ava

Ask Ava: Conversation Topics with Older Women

Couple on Date

Q: Dear Ava. I’m ready to date older women. It’s been an idea of mine for some time, and now I’m going to give it a shot. I came to this conclusion because I just don’t get that much intellectual stimulation from the girls my own age, twenty-five. Not that I’m a genius, but I am smart and I like the foreplay of good conversation as much as anything. And I don’t think the rules of not talking about politics, religion, or sex on a first date would be the same with an older woman. What do older women want to talk about with younger men?

A: Dear Chris. I love hearing from younger men about to embark on their first cougar coupling, whether it’s just for hookups or something more serious. You won’t be disappointed. Of course, sex is usually better with an older woman because of their experience and comfortability in who they are, but as you say, there is a greater chance for intellectual stimulation.

As someone who dates younger men, I find it can be a problem to meet someone who captivates my mind as well as my body, but that said, cubs can be more open than older men, who are often set in their ways.

I agree that an intense discussion or debate can be great foreplay and that every topic is fair game unless someone says otherwise. If you can’t have a reasonable chat about something, you may not be suited to each other anyway.

Most women, when they meet someone for the first time, want a man to ask them about their lives, specifically their work, passions, and family. Focus on her by asking questions that lead to larger discussions. If you’ve read her dating profile carefully, you should have lots of cues to get you started. The only topic I say that’s not so great to bring up is past relationships. It can give the date a sour note and make her uncomfortable.

And when you get to know her a little better, you may find she will also enjoy talking about sex. This will likely be a refreshing change and one of enlightenment.

Best of luck in the jungle, Chris!

Need advice on dating, relationships, or sex? SUBMIT YOUR QUESTION HERE, and who knows, you may appear in the next Cougar World newsletter. -xo Ava

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