How to Calm First Date Anxiety

You’re going on your first date and you’re a bit of a mess. You’re feeling stressed about who you’re going to meet and not quite sure what to do with yourself. You’ve been anticipating it all day and hoping it turns out right.

What if they don’t think I’m attractive? What if my hair turns out awful that day? What if I’m too nervous to have anything interesting to say?

You contemplate, “Maybe I’ll just cancel . . .”

Whether you’re a cub or a cougar, the first thing to realize is that we’ve ALL had the first date jitters.

I’m in my forties. I’ve dated a lot and never been married. But I talk to my now-married friends and they claim they’ve never been on a date! They admit they’d be terribly nervous and wouldn’t even know what to do. But the reality is, if you’ve shacked-up in any way – you’ve been on a date. You had to have gone out and gotten to know each other in a variety of ways – these were dates! However, the word “dating” has a bit of a spotlight on it these days, and therefore can breed a bit of anxiety inside of us. However, fear no-more.

Whether you’re back on the dating scene or just entering, here’s some fool-proof tips to help ease those first date nerves with that sexy new cub or cougar you’re about to meet:

Go to the Gym

This is my favorite, and therefore my first suggestion. When I go to the gym I have my best, most inspiring type of music playing through my headphones. I pick my favorite class or piece of equipment (I love the elliptical or a rigorous step class) and kick it into high gear for at least a half hour. There’s all types of gyms and sports clubs out there, but mine is pretty inexpensive and still has a cold and hot sauna, a steam room, and for the sun babies – a tanning bed. After taking advantage of all the amenities, I feel the most fresh and most positive-filled person I can be. This is an ideal state to be in the moment you sit down to meet your date. The gym can also be a great place to meet older women.

Perform Your Favorite Task

I’ll put it into context: I LOVE to sing. When I sing, I feel an adrenaline rush. When I feel an adrenaline rush, I feel sexually aroused. When I feel aroused, I feel confident.  When you perform your favorite task or past-time, whether it’s something at your job, fixing your car, or playing music, you boost your confidence. This heightened mental state will emanate from you. And what a great feeling to showcase and bring with you on your first meeting.

Talk to your Bestie

Who makes you laugh? Who understands you the most? Who can pick you up and brush you off better than your mum? Your bff. Give your best friend a call before your date. Talk to the one that brings out all of your best material and have a good laugh. Have a good heart-to-heart that unleashes your good ear and supportive shoulder. Have your friend bring out the best in you, then quickly run out the door and bring that good, fun energy to your date.

Be Honest
You don’t have to divulge as soon as you shake hands and sit down. But you can share after some formalities and a few moments of bated breath, “I’m a little nervous.” Nothing softens a moment or instills immediate empathy like honesty. It’s refreshing, truthful, and REAL. When you reveal the truth about your nervousness, often the person sitting across from you will help make you feel more at ease through conversation, a touch on the arm, or, reveal they’re nervous too! Sharing yourself always helps make a connection.

Whatever tip you choose, from this list or one of your own – be sure to try something you know will lift your spirits and boost your confidence. I guarantee your positive state of mind will help make that first meeting a lasting impression.

Read: 10 Great Places for a First Date

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