Becoming a sexually confident beast takes time. Just ask any cougar. At one time, most of us were insecure twenty somethings who were afraid to say what we liked, insecure about taking our clothes off with the lights on, and experienced difficulty reaching orgasm. Becoming a strong know-what-we-want kind of creature has taken time, years in fact.
You may already have confidence in your bedroom abilities, and good for you, but I’ve met few younger men who didn’t show some self-exteem issues during sex. I don’t think it’s cool for a woman to address these during the act, so I’m going to talk about them here. As resident cougar, I love to offer up any tips to cubs I can.
Building Confidence for Better Sex
Practice, Practice, Practice
Anything in life you want to get better at, which builds confidence, involves dedication through practice. Somehow, I don’t think you’ll mind this advice.
Almost every man I’ve slept with brings up some shit talk an ex-girlfriend (usually a younger woman) said about his penis size or sexual performance. Ick! Ladies: this is so uncool, and now I have to spend time undoing your hurtful comments.
Aim to Please
Confidence will build from knowing you’re fulfilling a partner’s desires. This might take a little exploration, perseverance, and conversation (especially with new partners), but I know you can do it!
You may feel uncomfortable talking about your likes and dislikes, but who better to do it with than an experienced older woman. We don’t mind telling a man what “our thing” is, so bring it on.
Don’t ever let sex become routine. Put yourself out there by trying new things like stripping spontaneously or suggesting a little bondage. Challenge yourself and you’ll be rewarded.
Keeping yourself groomed “down there” and wherever else that needs it (no back rugs, please). This won’t have you worrying about her reactions or have you feeling self-conscious.
Get in Shape
You don’t have to be a body builder or able to run a marathon (although stamina does come in handy in the bedroom), but mind and body are always intertwined. If you look good, you’ll feel good, especially naked.
Along the way to being a super confident lover, you may have to fake your bravado a little. And that’s okay… because you should never let your insecurities get in the way of sweet satisfying sex with a mature woman.
Before you get to the bedroom read: How to Gain Dating Confidence
Cubs: What gives you sexual confidence?