Q: Dear Ava: Hi my name is Dennis, and I want more stamina when it comes to sex. My new girlfriend is older than me and has a voracious sexual appetite. I want to keep up with her but find myself out of breath and not able to get hard again, after already having sex, to go as soon as she’d like. And she wishes I could last longer during our sessions. I’m in my mid-forties and not in bad shape. She says I should try Viagra, but I think I’m too young. Do you have any suggestions to keep up with a wily older woman.
A: Hi Dennis. Many women in their forties, fifties, and older are enjoying the best sex of their lives. They’ve had experience, feel confident in who they are and in their bodies, and know what they want in life – inside and outside the bedroom. So don’t feel you are alone in keeping up with a cougar’s sex drive. I’ve dated plenty of younger men who had a hard time matching my libido.
I have a few thoughts on the matter that may help you. When you say you’re out of breath, your cardiovascular may need some work. “Not in bad shape” sounds like you’re saying you’re not fat, but that doesn’t mean you’re as healthy as you could be. And older women like men who take care of themselves, which includes their bodies. By doing something that raises your heart rate (running, elliptical, rowing, etc.) you can slowly increase your stamina. No woman wants a man huffing and puffing over her a romp.
Lasting longer is always easier said than done, especially if you’re with a woman who really turns your crank. For this I suggest masturbating less or edging which means playing with yourself but stopping right before you come. Many men I know like to think of something completely nonsexual when they think they are about to unload – a little mind trick to help them stay hard. Also, taking small breaks during a session will help. With condoms, there are varieties that can help desensitize to last longer. Another option are cock rings. These slow the flow of blood to keep an erection longer. If none of these work, you can try Viagra. If you’re uncomfortable, talk to a doctor first. It’s not for everyone, but it may be an easy solution to your problem.
Readers: any tips to improve sexual stamina you want to share?
Need advice on dating, relationships, or sex? SUBMIT YOUR QUESTION HERE, and who knows, you may appear in the next Cougar World newsletter. -xo Ava
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