Q: Dear Ava, I had written you an email because I wasn’t able to meet older women but now that I have met one, I have another problem. I met Joanne (not real name) at a friend’s party and we’ve hooked up a couple times since. I’ve never considered myself shy when it comes to pleasing a woman and she seemed to enjoy herself. The thing is, right in the middle of lovemaking, she said, “You’re so quiet.” I wasn’t sure if she meant talking or moaning or what, so I waited until after to ask her. She said she likes it when a guy talks dirty during sex. I told her I’d surprise her the next time. Okay, now what? I see guys say weird things in porn all the time, but I can’t imagine saying those things myself, especially to an older woman. Help! I don’t want to disappoint her.
A: Hi Rick. Dirty talk can be tricky. You can meet a sassy woman and think that would be her thing only to find she’s quiet as a mouse during sex, or she may be the demure type and surprise you by unleashing a porn star’s repertoire. Personally, I like a little of the dirty myself – a guy telling me how he’s going to give it to me is a turn on. You might have to fake it until you make it if this is new to you. Start slow and gauge her responses. You don’t want to open with, “Bitch! Get on all fours, so I can fuck you like a dog,” your first time out. Maybe something along the lines of, “I’m going to make you come so hard by . . . ” And don’t forget, a cougar still expects you to recognize that what you say in the heat of the moment is fantasy, not reality. You might be calling her a horny little slut, but that’s not what you really think.
When a guy is acting porny, it turns most women off. Be creative but don’t plan what you’re going to say. Let the moment, and your thoughts in the moment be your guide. If a cougar doesn’t like what comes out of your mouth, she will tell you but still appreciate your effort. Go for it!
Guys: How do you talk dirty to a woman? Prrr….