I’ve spent most of the last ten years dating younger men. It’s been wonderful save for the occasional bump in the dating road (we all hit them, right?). And when I say younger men, I’m not always talking the statistical “ten years younger” cub. Sometimes my lovers are only a few years younger; but they are younger, because I learned a long time ago why I love younger men. But…
Recently I found myself attracted to an online profile of an older man – fourteen years older! My natural cougar instinct was to continue on through the online dating jungle, but I found myself returning to read through his profile again and again. He had all the things that make a great profile. I hemmed and hawed, then I thought, okay, I’ll favorite him, so he’ll see that I’m interested and if he is, too, he’ll message. Note: I’m usually very direct when I find someone online I like; but I felt a little out of my element, like I was new to online dating.
The good news is that he did respond and we had a few dates over a couple of months. He was a true gentleman and we had great conversation, but there was a lack of chemistry, at least on my side (I ended up breaking things off.) I saw a potential for a friendship, but we all know, that rarely works when one person has feelings. From this experience and others, I’ve made a list of advantages and disadvantages of dating older men.
Advantages of Dating Older Men
1. Freedom – many older guys have the time and finances to travel or get away, especially if they are retired or semi-retired.
2. Sexual Know How – there isn’t a guarantee, but you hope that an older man whose been around has picked up a trick or twenty!
3. Independent/Financially Stable – a man should be able to pay his own way, but it sure is nice when he can treat his lady.
4. Wisdom – intelligence is a huge turn on with many women, just look how many nerds you see dating gorgeous women.
5. Maturity – there’s a difference between being fun and being mature. An immature man is often embarrassing to be out on a date with.
Disadvantages of Dating Older Men
1. Low Energy – this is a problem for any woman with high energy and who likes getting out and doing things. Health issues may also be an issue.
2. The Ex-Factor – the older he is, the more ex-girlfriends or ex-wives there’ll be floating around. This can make a lot of women very uncomfortable.
3. Obligations – this may include the extended family mentioned above, a demanding career or dependents (children and parents).
4. Set in Ways – a lot of men get to a certain age and stop growing; they think they’ve learned as much as they need to and know what’s best. This is a total turn off!
5. Outside Attitudes – depending on the age gap, there may be a lot of judgement from family and friends, especially if he’s got money and you don’t.
Even if you have a preferred age, it’s good to stray once in awhile. You just never know what you might find.