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Dating Older Men: Pros & Cons

Smiling Happy Couple

I’ve spent most of the last ten years dating younger men. It’s been wonderful save for the occasional bump in the dating road (we all hit them, right?). And when I say younger men, I’m not always talking the statistical “ten years younger” cub. Sometimes my lovers are only a few years younger; but they are younger, because I learned a long time ago why I love younger men. But…

Recently I found myself attracted to an online profile of an older man – fourteen years older! My natural cougar instinct was to continue on through the online dating jungle, but I found myself returning to read through his profile again and again. He had all the things that make a great profile. I hemmed and hawed, then I thought, okay, I’ll favorite him, so he’ll see that I’m interested and if he is, too, he’ll message. Note: I’m usually very direct when I find someone online I like; but I felt a little out of my element, like I was new to online dating.

The good news is that he did respond and we had a few dates over a couple of months. He was a true gentleman and we had great conversation, but there was a lack of chemistry, at least on my side (I ended up breaking things off.) I saw a potential for a friendship, but we all know, that rarely works when one person has feelings. From this experience and others, I’ve made a list of advantages and disadvantages of dating older men.

Advantages of Dating Older Men

1. Freedom – many older guys have the time and finances to travel or get away, especially if they are retired or semi-retired.

2. Sexual Know How – there isn’t a guarantee, but you hope that an older man whose been around has picked up a trick or twenty!

3. Independent/Financially Stable – a man should be able to pay his own way, but it sure is nice when he can treat his lady.

4. Wisdom – intelligence is a huge turn on with many women, just look how many nerds you see dating gorgeous women.

5. Maturity – there’s a difference between being fun and being mature. An immature man is often embarrassing to be out on a date with.

Disadvantages of Dating Older Men

1. Low Energy – this is a problem for any woman with high energy and who likes getting out and doing things. Health issues may also be an issue.

2. The Ex-Factor – the older he is, the more ex-girlfriends or ex-wives there’ll be floating around. This can make a lot of women very uncomfortable.

3. Obligations – this may include the extended family mentioned above, a demanding career or dependents (children and parents).

4. Set in Ways – a lot of men get to a certain age and stop growing; they think they’ve learned as much as they need to and know what’s best. This is a total turn off!

5. Outside Attitudes – depending on the age gap, there may be a lot of judgement from family and friends, especially if he’s got money and you don’t.

Even if you have a preferred age, it’s good to stray once in awhile. You just never know what you might find.

Tell us what you think!

Tell us what you think!

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