Is She a Real Cougar? Cougars vs. Older Women

Is she a Real cougar?

Just because a woman is over 40 and wants to date younger guys (which, I guess, technically puts her in cougar territory) doesn’t necessarily mean she has all those awesome qualities that would make her a real Cougar with a capital C.

Be warned: she may just be a woman over 40, case-closed.

This is an awkward post to write. I truly don’t mean it as an attack on anyone’s character. It’s written only as a gentle heads-up for the sake of any inexperienced young guys out there who are looking to get into the cougar game.

Read: All About Cougar Women

Real Cougars vs. Older Women

The sad truth is this: there are women in cougar “territory” who don’t have any confidence, experience, or know-how.

For whatever reason(s)—perhaps their husbands have just left them for the secretary, or they’re worried they’ll die alone, or whatever it may be—these women are simply looking for someone to make them feel better about themselves. These older women think hooking up with a younger guy will solve all their self-esteem issues.

Don’t get me wrong, many people of all ages and both genders suffer from the same problem(s), so it isn’t necessarily a fake cougar issue. But I’m speaking directly apropos guys whose perspective on older women might get skewed by a negative—or un-Cougarly—experience.

What Defines a Real Cougar

A real cougar woman can be identified during your initial contact. Her confidence will shine through like a klieg on Oscar night.

If a real Cougar is interested in you, she won’t beg; and if she’s not, she won’t bother. Dare I suggest her self-esteem will initially even intimidate you? I do, indeed, dare. It’s that very quality that screams out for your attention.

If you’ve been e-contacted by a “cougar” who comes across as needy, or who chases you, or needs to understand why you’re not responsive, then you’re not with the kind of cougar we’re here to nab.

You’ll end up having a bad experience, and will subsequently think all the hoopla you’d heard about older women is bogus in real life—and quite possibly perpetuate that falsehood.

That doesn’t mean these same women won’t eventually become the cougars we’d like them to become. Let them get over whatever issues they’re currently facing, and eventually, they’ll find a comfortable—and confident—place among The Queens of Cougartown.

Otherwise, they should remain on a regular dating site or a one geared towards “mature singles”. No woman should identify herself as a cougar simply because she’s past 40.

Read: Cougar Dating Sites That Work

Guys: What defines a cougar for you?

Tell us what you think

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