7 Cougar Booty Call Rules

While the concept of the booty call is brilliant in it’s simplicity, the execution is particularly dicey, especially as the encounters stack up. While in theory, even though these are no-strings-attached hookups for sex only, unsustainable feelings can unintentionally come into play.

When dealing with a MILF or a cougar, you need to follow some rules that will help you negotiate the minefield that is the booty call arrangement. You’ll note that we’re referring to this as an “arrangement” rather than a “relationship”; they are two completely different and separate classifications. Booty calls are for the people who MUTUALLY recognize there is no relationship potential. You don’t enter this type of relationship with someone who wants something more with you, or that you are developing feelings towards. To play on another’s emotions or to enter into this situation with ulterior motives is cruel in the first part and disingenuous in the second.

Assuming you’ve found your booty call, here are rules to assure a mutually positive and satisfying experience:

1. Don’t stay the night.
Booty calls should be a “get in, get off, get out” experience. Staying overnight should be avoided, lest you cross over into relationship territory. For this reason, you should also never get into a situation that could be construed as a date. Going to a movie or dinner, before or after, are right out. If the woman has come to your place, you can suspend the “no staying” rule as a courtesy, but beware the warning signs of attachment.

2. Limit your communications to text messages.
This gives both parties the option of responding without social awkwardness, this is supposed to be a pressure-less arrangement, remember? Interaction should be limited to the task at hand. Inquires about each other’s dating activities, social engagements and work should be off-limit topics.

3. The initiator should offer to travel.
If you just woke the other up because you’re awake and horny, clearly you are the one who should be dong the travelling. Waking someone up in the middle of the night with an offer for them get up, get dressed and traipse across town is not an attractive proposition no matter how horny you may be.

4. Showing up falling-down drunk is unacceptable.
A couple of drinks in you from an unsuccessful night at the club is one thing, staggering, sloppy and slurring is quite another.

5. Just because this isn’t a friendship or relationship, there is no excuse to be unkind.
You owe your partner the same level of respect and courtesy that you would hope to be treated with yourself. We’re all human beings and deserve to have our feelings respected, regardless of our relative importance in each other’s lives.

6. Open communication is important.
It is entirely possible that you mutually begin to feel things for each other. If so, congratulations! If not, you must be prepared to move on, immediately, no matter how much you enjoy the sex. Allowing the other to pine and wait by the phone for the booty call is unkind, so end it at the first sign of asymmetry.

7.  Remember to always practice safe sex.
You don’t know what your partner has gotten up to, and well, you DO know what you’ve gotten up to. Even if there’s little to no risk of pregnancy, condoms are an absolute MUST!

What booty call rules do you follow?

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