Q: Dear Ava. Me and my older girlfriend fight a lot, not physically, just heated verbal arguments. I think we’re just two people who have strong opinions (often different) and who like to debate. We’ve even gotten into some wrestling matches. This last time we ended up having the best sex ever – on the kitchen table! The only thing was after thinking about it, I felt like I might be taking advantage of the situation. I tend to over think everything. Is it possible to have make-up sex more often? – B
A: If only all our arguments with partners could end this way! Make-up sex can and usually is passionate, spontaneous, and very satisfying! There is no need to feel bad after make-up sex. Enjoy it because it isn’t the normal result after a “fight” with a partner. If it was, we’d be picking arguments with partners all day long.
Tips for Make-Up Sex
Don’t expect every argument to lead to sex.
When you are in a heated debate, being in your partner’s personal space can spark physical arousal.
If physical contact happens (a grab, a push), it’s time to go in for the passionate kiss. You’ll know right away if there’s a chance for sex.
If there isn’t a chance, walk away.
If she’s game, go to it, right there, right then. If you break the spontaneity (moving to the bed) you’ll lose some of that intensity.
This is a good time to say you’re sorry, in the throes of passion. She’ll be more forgiving and you won’t have to worry about picking up the argument where you’d left off.
Go kinky. If you can turn the argument into a sexy role play, go for it. Maybe you need a little spanking for not paying the water bill. Get creative.
The best make-up sex comes after stupid arguments, you know, the ones you can’t remember the next day. Why not only erase that memory but create a more passionate one!
The next time a heated debate/argument/fight erupts with a partner, test the waters and see if you can move in for a little of the hot ‘n’ heavy… intense, primal, and passionate!
Need advice on dating, relationships, or sex? SUBMIT YOUR QUESTION HERE, and who knows, you may appear in the next Cougar World newsletter. -xo Ava