Ask Ava: Submissive Man Seeking Dominant Older Woman

Q: Dear Ava. I love older women and I want to serve one as her man servant. I’ve always had a submissive streak in me and it keeps me going after dominant women. Most of these ladies just happen to be older, and I’ve realized it’s probably because it takes maturity to be confident enough to dominate a man, or something like that. A lot of my friends have said that past girlfriends have treated me badly, but in most cases, I think it’s just the kind of women I’m attracted to. Sure there were a few rotten apples, but isn’t there always. So, I’ve been in a dating lull lately and have had time to re-evaluate what I’m looking for. I’d like to get involved with an older woman, but in a more serious dominant/submissive relationship… I could even see myself in the role of slave. I love to please, and the idea of a little punishment for bad behaviour would be welcome. Where can I find a lady for this kind of connection. -Rob

A: Dear Rob. Well, I do appreciate a man who knows what he likes and wants. I also like that your exploration of your sexual nature has been gradual. This is the way to go when one decides to enter the world of bdsm. It’s hard to go from straight vanilla to kink without a few bumps along the way. Don’t let your friends derail you from what you’re looking for, but know that there is a difference between abuse and domination. A true dominatrix or domme will dominate you, but it will come from a place of love, not wanting to mentally or physically hurt you (aside from any pain limits that you agree to explore).

A dating lull is a great time to regroup, and it looks like you’ve done just that. I love these breaks because there are many perks to being single. Depending where you live, finding a dominatrix isn’t always going to be easy… it’s not like you’ll see her sitting on a bar stool in full latex gear, swinging a pair of handcuffs. If you live in a metropolitan area there may be bdsm events, bars, dungeons, or clubs to explore. But if you do want a one-on-one more serious relationship with a dominant woman, it’s best to go online to specific dating sites that cater to submissives and dommes. Another word of advice: take your time creating a great profile that will attract the right woman.

No matter what your dating or sexual preference, I believe, there is someone for everyone. Best of luck, Rob!

If you have any experience being in a sub/dom relationship, we’d love to hear from you at Cougar World.

Need advice on dating, relationships, or sex? SUBMIT YOUR QUESTION HERE, and who knows, you may appear in the next Cougar World newsletter. -xo Ava

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