Q: Dear Ava. One of my friends told me his wife recently admitted to faking orgasm. It got me wondering – how many women have done this with me. I don’t have a lot of female friends, and I’m not that comfortable asking them about this sort of thing.
I usually date older women because of their sexual experience, so I know that I orgasm for sure, but now I’m second guessing myself, have women pretended to enjoy themselves? Wouldn’t an older woman just tell you what she likes rather than fake it? And is there a way to know she’s faking?
A: Hi Zach. It’s nice to hear from a young man who is truly concerned about his lover’s satisfaction. I don’t know a woman who hasn’t faked at least once. Why do we do this? Women usually have a good idea during sex whether they’re going to come or not, and if we don’t think it’s going to happen we might fake an orgasm for two reasons. One, we don’t want to see you expending more energy for nothing, and two we might not want you to feel bad that you couldn’t make it happen.
You’re right though, women fake less and less as they get older. We have gained the confidence to tell a man, regardless of age, how to make us orgasm. I find younger men more open to learning technique and more eager to please. Prrrr
I would never recommend calling a woman out, but if you can decipher that she’s faking then you may want to work a little harder and open communication to discover what gets her off.
How can you tell if she’s faking? Listen to her breathing. It should be heavy and her heart rate increased. During orgasm a woman can’t control her breath. Jerky body movements and cervical contractions (that tightening grip around your shaft) are other signs of a true blue orgasm. She’ll usually feel weak and may be trembling as well.
A woman who is in the throes of passion isn’t very talkative or able to carry on a coherent conversation. Other signs to watch for are dilated pupils and a sudden perspiration that comes from her body’s need for release.
Men: Can you tell when a woman is faking?
Do you have a question about older women, dating, or sex? Write here, and I’ll try to answer you in the next Ask Ava post.