Ask Ava: How to Have a Discreet Affair

Q: Dear Ava, I’m a 28-year old married guy. I admit I’ve been a compulsive cheater throughout my marriage. I might even be a sex addict because even if my wife is giving me some it never seems to be enough. I was true to her the first year and then I began to stray. I was always pretty careful until this last woman I had on the side. My wife found a new number on my phone (I put the name “Bob” beside it) and started playing private investigator. Anyway, I wasn’t able to talk my way out of it and spent a good couple weeks on the couch. Did I learn my lesson? NO. I’ve started an online relationship with Jill, an older woman in the next county. How do I avoid getting caught and being kicked to the curb?
– Randy, Wyoming

A: Hi Randy. Your email is not unlike others I have received lately – guys who get caught cheating, yet continue. I’m more than happy to impart some wisdom that can’t guarantee, but will certainly increase your chances of having your cake and eating to it too. Yum. In my experience, most younger men try to be discreet, and it is only their lust and passion that get in the way – it’s easy to make mistakes when you aren’t thinking with the right head. Technology has made it easy to find hookups, but also easier to get busted if you are already in a relationship.

Delete, delete, delete online browsing history no matter what. Even if you don’t think your wife uses your computer, or she is computer illiterate, a suspicious woman will always find a way. Delete affair text, instant messages, and phone logs. No matter how sweet that last sext was – it needs to disappear. Again, women love to snoop on their man’s phone and computer. If you’re spending money on the woman on the side then always use cash or a prepaid credit card – no paper trails.

And finally, keep all affairs secret – don’t brag or share your escapades, even with your best friend. You’ll be once again underestimating the power of interrogation a woman has when she is suspect of your philandering.

Randy, I wish you all the luck in satisfying your sexual needs. I’ve never felt that committing to one person for the rest of one’s life was an option for me, so I understand your desire for variety and of course, attraction to older women.

Cubs: Care to share any cheating tips? If you’ve been caught, how did it go down?

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