Q: I’m dating an older woman, not really a cougar as she’s only six years older, but she is very experienced… much more so than I when it comes to sex. I’ve never had the kinds of blow jobs she gives. They’re awesome. When I reciprocate with oral sex, I feel insecure and haven’t been able to make her orgasm. It’s only been a month, so I’m hoping it’ll get better. Does a woman expect a man to go down every time during sex, or only when she gives a blow job?
A: I had a recent conversation with a girlfriend on this very subject. Great head usually comes from women who enjoy giving oral sex and see it much more than just a “job.” Feel blessed. I know a lot of women who aren’t that keen. You may be feeling some performance anxiety because she is so good and because the relationship is relatively new – these are both very common.
Being able to talk with a partner about sex can really help. Don’t be shy to ask a woman what she likes and how she likes it. If you haven’t made her orgasm in a month, she may be thinking of moving on. Yes, it’s that important. Also, when you go down, watch and listen for cues to know when you’re on the right track.
If your inexperience is part of the problem, being with an older woman might be a perfect opportunity to learn. Most older women have no issue with teaching a man how to please her. Some women expect a man to go down every time, especially if they have, but most don’t. It should happen regularly, and if you’re not confident with your cunnilingus skills then I suggest doing it as much as possible. Practice really does make perfect.
Remember too, the more you enjoy going down, the more she will enjoy it. And oral sex is how the majority of women come, and we love coming just as much as men.
Need advice on dating, relationships, or sex? SUBMIT YOUR QUESTION HERE, and who knows, you may appear in the next Cougar World newsletter. -xo Ava