Everyone has crushes at some time in their lives. I can’t remember a time when I didn’t have one. And these longings and attractions are always a little salacious because they’re usually kept secret, at least for some period of time. Sometimes I’m happy to have a crush, with no desire to act upon it because he or myself may be attached or it may be in a workplace situation. But sometimes the desire can almost become unbearable when all you think about is having sex with your crush.
So how do you at least get to first base, a first date, with the object of your affection? I like to take this in steps. There’s nothing worse than longing for weeks or months for someone, and then blow it before anything actually happens.
Steps to Get a Date with a Secret Crush
1. Be Where She Is
If you’re crush is at the gym… take note if she has regular times that she goes there and visit when she does. You can’t expect anything to happen if you’re not in close proximity. If she works in your department, take your lunch break at the same time. The key here is to not go into stalker territory.
2. Be Patient
Coming on too strong or too fast is a major turn-off and you won’t get a second chance if you do this. It’s likely you’ve been interested in this woman for a while, so what’s a little longer.
3. Observe and Listen
If your secret crush isn’t someone you already know well, just laying back and observing can tell you a great deal about a person. You may see what she’s interested in, what makes her laugh, what her aspirations are. This is all valuable information you can use when you initiate conversation.
4. Make Her Laugh
Once you do have a chance for one-on-one interactions, you’ll want to make a secret crush feel comfortable. There’s no better way to do this than to make a woman laugh. If you have a similar sense of humour, this shouldn’t be a problem. Just don’t go overboard. Women like a balance between serious conversation and side-splitting laughs.
5. Ask for a Date
There’s a lot of women who don’t pick up on cues that a man is interested in her romantically or physically, especially if it’s someone she has known for a while (friend or acquaintance). If you don’t ask her out specifically on a date but just keep hanging out, you will get stuck in the friend zone which is almost impossible to maneuver out of. Use the information you’ve gleaned from her when planning an irrisistable first date.
Also read: How to Calm First Date Anxiety