Q: Dear Ava, I’ve been interested in dating older women for a long time and have just begun checking out cougar dating sites. What I’m wondering about, is if these women are usually kinky? I would expect them to be experienced and know what they’re doing, but are cougars usually a little more wild than younger women? I’m not super kinky, but I like to experiment a little and want to know how I can tell if she’s into that. Are there any signs to look for without asking her directly?
– Paul, Minnesota
A: Hi Paul. Older women are not an alien breed that you should be confused by. Just like younger females, some of us are full-on kink lovers while others enjoy a more straightforward approach to sex. Although, older women, in general, are more open to experimentation and sophisticated techniques.
Flirty and confident behaviour (in person or online) is a good sign that she walks on the wild side. She may even use sexual wordplay in conversation or say outright what she’s into. Women interested in hooking up are not interested in wasting time. As women age, we are able to talk more upfront about what we like or don’t like in bed.
She may not reveal her sexual barometer until your first tryst. If this is your scenario, let her lead the way. Cougars like to feel in control initially and then will gradually let you take over to express your desires and fantasies. Reading a woman’s reaction to your every maneuver will help lead you in the right direction. Also, don’t be afraid of getting a little rough. Few cougars want vanilla and are at their sexual prime – it’s all or nothing, baby! We’ve chosen to be with a young man for a reason. If a cougar doesn’t want to do something sexually, she won’t, so don’t be shy about suggesting or trying out your preffered kinks.
Best of luck in exploring your fantasies and fetishes with older women. I have a feeling, it won’t be a problem.