If you’re out there in the online dating jungle, you must learn to handle rejection. You don’t have to like it but dealing with it in a positive manner will keep you from getting into a dating funk or giving up on finding an awesome older woman for casual encounters or a long-term relationship.
As a cougar, I have lots of experience with rejection and tips I can share with you young cubs. It does get easier the older you get, and you will take it less personally.
Did you find a beautiful woman whose online profile seems a perfect match? Did it take you a week to craft a message that would surely capture her attention? What?! No response . . . bummer. This is why I recommend sending multiple messages to many women. And while you’re waiting, keep browsing. Think of it as the business side of dating, it keeps the dry spells at bay and things running smoothly.
Sitting around thinking about one woman isn’t realistic unless you’ve met, had chemistry with her, and you know for sure that she feels the same.
But wait . . . you’ve made it to the first date. You’re hitting it off, you’ve imagined her naked, and there has been flirtation. At the end of the night you make your big move to kiss and are met with a cheek and, “I had a great time. I’ll give you a call.” You leave thinking she’s playing hard to get, and it’s okay, because you’re going to see her again, right?
Wrong. An older woman doesn’t like to waste time. If she was interested, she’d be in your bed already. Sometimes, saying we’ll stay in touch after a first date is our polite way of letting you down. Personally, I like to be as direct as possible and not leave a guy wondering whether he’ll see me again.
If you had a great time, don’t wait for her to contact you. Send her a message/email so you can find out as soon as possible what’s going on. No response – move on! Moping and hoping sucks, so get back in the saddle, cowboy, and know that there are plenty of women whom would love to meet you, go on a second date, or engage in a hot one night stand.
I still get bummed out when I get no response from a message I’ve spent time writing or when a date I think is going well doesn’t pan out, but I won’t dwell long as life is too short. I keep my online favorites folder full and when something doesn’t work out, I immediately send two new messages out?
Cubs: How do you deal with online rejections?
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