I’ve recently returned to online dating after a breakup. After receiving many messages that are cringe-worthy or just a straight-up turn off, I was inspired to write about it. I’m going to share some of these messages and tell you exactly why they fell flat for me. Some may be obvious while others may seem fine, but nonetheless were irksome. I hope by sharing my thoughts, I will help you from making similar mistakes.
Bad First Messages
“How are you today”
I get a lot of “hi” and “how’s it goin’?” type of messages… snorefest! Lazy lazy lazy. Did you just see my picture and quickly send this message. If you don’t have time to read my profile and personalize a message, I’m not interested. Most of these go straight to the trash.
“If I get your body I never sleep”
Gross! Really? If you think this is going to get my attention, you’re right… just not the kind of attention you’re hoping for. It’s crass and presumptuous. Also, the writing sounds like a robot. I hope he didn’t send this to anyone else!
“You’re so intriguing. Those eyes cannot conceal your playful ways. I have revealed your inner secrets with just one glance.”
It’s not the worst message I’ve received, but it creeped me out a little. I’m sure this guy thought he was being attentive or something, but it’s just too stalker-like for me to trust. This message tries too hard, and in the process fails.
“Can we explore a companionship?”
This message is too short and doesn’t really say anything. I want to know that a man read my profile and found something specific about me that appealed to him. If you are new to online dating, ask a friend with some experience to help you out.
“Text me and I will send pics… interested in an hour *** 877 ****”
A message from a man without profile pics… and he hadn’t filled out any sections in his profile!!! You have to be seriously delusional to think a woman is going to text a stranger (thus giving him her phone number!) and want to meet him immediately before knowing a single thing about him. Get real!!!
“Hey. How is it going. I am alone with no one to love to chill to party to flirt. i am alone in life with no one to share my heart with. Then i came across your beautiful face and i want to see that face smiling at me so will you join my life for those lovely moments. Hope to hear back”
This has that robot-speak I mentioned earlier, not to mention horrible grammar. This guy was trying to be sentimental (with a stranger!), and it just comes off as desperate and cheesy. Wait until you start dating someone before you get romantic, please.
And one message I didn’t include was as long as the his profile. These novella-length messages are off-putting because they reek of desperation. I don’t want to feel strong-armed into dating someone. A few sentences should be enough to catch a woman’s attention.
I hope these examples will help you to avoid writing a message that gets ignored.