Just the Tips

How to Meet Women in Bars

Couple Laughing in Bar

Now, as much as I like to extol the virtues of online dating as the finest place to meet mature women, I still enjoy the element of surprise one feels with impromptu hookups from a trip to your local bar (or any bar for that matter).

I like to think of myself as somewhat of an expert on bar etiquette in the quest to getting laid. I think there’s less people going to a bar in hopes of a good shag (because of internet dating) but it’s still a viable place of possibilities.

Tips for Picking Up Women in Bars

Kind of Bar
This depends on your taste in women. If you like the more glammed out cougars, you’ll want to hit a nightclub where there’s music and dancing. The bonus of these kinds of places is that there are more women (often in packs) without guy friends around, and you have the dance floor as an extra place to chat and get physical.

The bar/tavern/restaurant is where you’re going to find a more laid back kind of older woman, maybe chilling with friends, or if you’re lucky, sitting by her lonesome on a bar stool. It will be harder to approach a woman in a place full of tables and booths though.

Obviously you want to look good, not formal, but also not like you just crawled out of bed or spent the last twelve hours on the Xbox. Shower, groom, and whatever else you do that makes you feel confident. Make sure your place is female-friendly just in case you do find a hottie to take home. Going out to pick up women alone is too horndog, so bring along a buddy, but only one. You should have enough money to pay your way, buy a lady a few drinks, and pay for cab fare. Sorry, cubs, but chivalry is not dead!

The Best Time
You’ll want to prowl for cougars at night, knowing there’s a segue possibility from the bar to your place, maybe hers. Friday and Saturday nights are best because most women are off the next day and feel they can really let loose. Go early enough that you can find a comfy spot for scoping out the cougars, but late enough that you’ll blend in when you arrive.

The Right Frame of Mind
You have to be in a great mood before you go out because confidence is super sexy and can attract women with little effort. This may mean having a drink (only one) before you head out or maybe a trip to the gym (my fave) to pump you up. Whatever helps you feel good about yourself. You have to go in thinking, “I’ve got nothing to lose.”

You Found Her, Now What?
Once you’ve spotted the cougar you desire, take a little time to assess the situation. Of course, she can’t be on a date with another guy, but don’t be discouraged if she’s with friends (of both sexes). In a club, get close enough to talk and flirt on the dance floor or try sending a drink with a message. At a small bar, you can also send a drink or join her at the bar if she goes up to order for her friends.

Starting the Conversation
Once you’ve got her attention, whether by finding a moment alone with her or by sending her a drink, it’s time to get the ball rolling. If you let your anxiety show, it’s going to make her a little uncomfortable. A cougar likes a take charge guy, so you have that automatically going for you by approaching and talking to her. Ditch the predictable small talk in favor of interesting dialogue. Try a witty observation about the bar or music, or a subtle compliment (women love compliments). You can try telling her that you had noticed her, and your buddy pushed you to make a move even though it’s not the kind of thing you usually do. Get creative.

I’m not saying to give up online dating because meeting women in bars can be challenging. But the bar scene can be exciting and is a great playground to boost your confidence. And every once in awhile, you will get lucky.

Check out: Pick Up Lines to Use on a Mature Women

Any tips you can add for picking up women in bars? Share in the comments below.

Tell us what you think!

Inline Feedbacks
View all comments