I’ve been asked this question by men and women recently, and thought rather than individual responses, I would write a post. I think most of us, at least eventually, would like to find a fulfilling lasting relationship, a true partner in life.
Older women and younger men can find happiness, but the challenges of making it last increase with the age gap between them.
A woman calling herself a cougar is usually not interested in long-term. She enjoys the hunt and conquest and a little sexual play, but doesn’t stay long and will be turned off by a cub that gets too needy.
Many young men are interested in older women as sexual partners who can teach them new bedroom tricks, and that might be all they want. Cubs need to sow their wild oats before settling down. A younger man may want to have children, whereas an older women may have already gone through this, have grown children, or feel she is too old to start a family.
So you can see, this is not as easy as it may seem. On the other hand, there are older women who are looking for long-term love with younger men (and vice versa), but like any relationship that goes the distance, it takes two committed partners, and yes, work.
Relationships that last, not just cougar cub, often begin organically. Two people meet with little expectation of what their friendship or dating will bring. When we’re trying too hard, determined to make something work, there are often ulterior motives or some type of fantasy involved. You know – love goggles!
Older women may like the idea of falling in love with a younger man, but she will also have some insecurities – what?! a cougar without confidence – no, just wisdom and a handle on reality. Most men who dabble in dating older women eventually do return to younger women their own age or younger. Seen and experienced it many times.
When we enter new relationships, we take the risk of being hurt. It’s a necessary part to building a foundation of trust for a long lasting relationship.
What do you think? Can a relationship with a large age gap last?