First dates are nerve wracking for men and women, and I confess, I’ve made enough mistakes to learn a few things. When you don’t get a call back from that beauty you have to think about why, and change your game plan for that next first outing. Here’s a few things that turn a woman off either temporarily or from ever wanting to see you again.
No Sense of Humor
This is the number one thing a girl is attracted to when she doesn’t know a guy. Even if you’re nervous, turn those awkward moments into self-deprecation or playful teasing – she’ll find it charming. Flirting differentiates a date from something more formal. The key here is to mix humor with more serious moments which will lead to a natural back-and-forth banter which will lead to a second date.
Too Many Compliments
Girls like compliments, but there is a limit and on a first date an excess will slide you right into the creep zone. Once or twice is cool, but save the rest for another time. A couple thoughtful comments will have impact; many will come off as meaningless.
Too Much Talk
You may be confident, but going on and on about your accomplishments, your travel history, or your workout regimen is blah blah blah. The dialogue should move between the two of you without the feeling of someone taking over. The stories your family has heard a million times should be saved for later in the relationship.
Sitting with a woman, talking for hours, is not going to feel like a date to her. She’ll feel like she’s being interviewed – depressing! Think of your initial meeting spot as temporary, only the beginning of the date. Have suggestions and ideas before the date of places where some form of physical contact is possible – maybe a park or a crowded bar.
Lack of Eye Contact
If she notices you’re not making eye contact (and she will!) then she’ll automatically think you’re not interested. For shy people this isn’t a natural way to connect, but you’ll have to leave your comfort zone on this one, guys. You don’t have to stare, (again, the creep factor) just glance at her eyes now and again so she knows you’re keen.
You might think a woman wants a man that agrees with everything she says, but no, we like men who have unique opinions and ideas. Debating different topics is flirty. If you sense a subject arising that you have a very strong opinion on, it’s okay to veer around it. A first date should be light and fun.
What first date mistake have you made? Did she give you another chance?