How to Be an Older Woman’s Rock

We all have the odd day when we feel like jumping in front of a speeding bus. Such are the hurdles of life. Why should The Almighty Confident Cougar be exempt? She is not. She goes through shitty times just like the rest of us.

And therein lies your chance to step up to the plate. Remember all those times she handheld you through the overwhelming waters of sex-education, fine dining, and savvy investment? The very least you can do in return is to offer yourself up as a comfort cushion in her time of need.

Let’s make two quick clarifications:

  1. A cougar doesn’t lose her confidence. It’s more apt to say she’d suffer from a confidence crisis.

  2. You’ll likely never experience this scenario on the first date.

We’re taking about a woman who usually keeps it together, a woman who is very much in charge of the world around her. That can start to pile up after a while, for any of us. Who wouldn’t need to take an emotional time-out once in a while? The only reason a cougar’s confidence crisis might come across as a breakdown is because it’s the polar opposite of how we normally see her.

But when it happens in your presence, you should be honored. It means she’s been seeing you long enough to trust that she can let down her guard, and open up her vulnerable side to you. Sure, part of that will have something to do with the fact that you may be compartmentalized within her life, a tucked-away treasure to whom she can share secrets and emotions without the risk of it encroaching on her day-to-day. What’s so bad about being someone’s “safe spot”?

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Besides, she’s a cougar: chances are all you’ll have to do is listen (it’s not like, deep down, she’s not still in charge…). Don’t expect her to “lead”. Don’t make sexual passes. If she cries, stay with her. It’s all very easy, really.

And if the sudden—and such temporary!—change in her turns you off and sends you running, then you’re probably an asshole anyway, and don’t deserve her.

Otherwise, she’s a couger, fer fucksakes—she’ll be herself again in no time!


Read: Being the Rock

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