Q: Dear Ava. I’m cougar crazed. I can’t help myself and not to brag, but I have no problem landing a hot older lady. I’m handsome, in shape, and I can turn the charm on when I need to. One problem . . . I’m still in school, so I don’t have a ton of cash, so I share an apartment with a buddy. Most of the time I try to go back to her place, but sometimes she’s got kids or she prefers going to the guy’s place.
The last time a coug came over she stopped dead in her tracks and said, “What’s wrong with your life.” I wasn’t sure what she meant at first. We hung out a bit, but she was definitely unimpressed with my place. There was no hook up and I never saw her again. I’ll be honest, it’s a dude’s pad. I can only afford a basement and there’s no fancy furniture or paintings on the wall. I try to tidy up a bit before I go out to meet a woman, but sometimes things just happen and then, ya, my place can be a bit of a disaster if I bring her home.
What can I do to spruce things up and make my pad more female friendly? What does an older woman expect a younger guy’s place to be like?
– Tray, Chicago
A: Hi Tray. I’ve been wanting to write a post about this topic for a while, so good to know it’s still an issue that needs a little attention.
When your older woman said, “What’s wrong with your life?” she’s saying “How can you live like this?” I’ve met very few men that have living arrangements that impress me, so I can identify with your lady friend’s reaction. We cougars understand that you’re young and still building careers, but there are basics about housekeeping, general and specific, that will keep a woman from running off.
Keep your place tidy even when you’re not expecting a woman. Living in clean surroundings builds self-respect. One should take pride in their home. Also, the days are long gone when an older woman was willing to play house and clean a boyfriend’s apartment. A tidy environment tells a woman you give a damn and that you’re concerned with hygiene.
Get rid of other girl evidence. Older women aren’t always looking for more than one night of passion, but we do have feelings and finding recently disposed tampon wrappers in the bathroom is a turn off. It makes you look like a douche.
You don’t have the funds to decorate impressively, but there are a few little things you can do to provide creature comforts. Paintings by local artists are better than posters of playmates and half-naked celebrities. Other inexpensive additions that make a place female friendly are plants, pillows, and candles. A few bucks at the dollar store will buy you dimmer switches that can provide ambiance and hide the nitty gritty. Pictures of family, pets, and a few accolades/trophies will also impress a cougar.
Wink, wink. It helps if you’re a very good lay. A woman can look past almost anything for mind blowing sex. And a large comfortable bed is always appreciated.
Take this advice, and I guarantee women will stop asking, “What’s wrong with you?”