Q: Dear Ava: I’m new to dating older women, but I can’t wait to get started. I’ve never had a lot of luck with girls my own age, mid-twenties. And I’ve often been called old for my age, that I’m too serious. I guess I’m a bit of a nerd, not intellectual. I just like to think about how things work, how the world works… I don’t know, maybe I overanalyze things too much. Anyway, a friend of my mum’s suggested I date older women, that I’d have more in common than girls at the university I attend. What I was wondering is, do older women (cougars) have a specific or favorite type of guy they go for? I’m not going to change who I am, but it can’t hurt to know what sort of man they’re attracted to, right?
I should say I’ve never had a serious girlfriend and my sexual experience is limited – two girls, a couple times each. I’m worried this might be a turn-off for older women, but I felt encouraged after reading your post about sleeping with a virgin
A: Dear Derek. I love hearing from cubs who are new to the older women – younger men dating world. Sometimes this dating dynamic really does feel like a movement in its own right.
There are lots of advantages to dating older women, as I’ve gone on and on about in many of my posts, but sometimes it really is just a personality thing. Some men connect better with older women on a mental level, and this is probably true for you because you sound like a brainy fellow who loves to engage in thoughtful discussions. Younger women your own age are often more interested in fashion, cute guys, or gossip talk (don’t mean to generalize, but this is what I hear from younger guys).
There really isn’t a specific type of men that older women go for. Sure there’s always a woman with a fetish such as men with freckles or guys with long hair, but there are also plenty of older women who want a younger man with brains and opinions to go with their youth and zest for life. Women grow out of “having a type” (especially related to the physical) as they get older. It’s more about what’s on the inside because we begin to understand that’s what lasts forever.
And don’t worry about your sexual inexperience. Older women are much more patient than younger women, and many of us like to teach in the sheets.
Best of luck, Derek, in your new dating adventures with older women!
Need advice on dating, relationships, or sex? SUBMIT YOUR QUESTION HERE, and who knows, you may appear in the next Cougar World newsletter. -xo Ava