Q: Dear Ava. I’ve been reading the Cougar World blog for a while because I do like older women, and I can use all the dating tips I can get, especially when it comes to meeting and planning dates. You have lots of articles about how sexually experienced and confident older women are, which is cool, but this doesn’t quite describe the cougar I’m after. I’m looking for an inexperienced woman who I can teach and guide in the bedroom. You might say why not just go for a younger woman, but I also want brains and worldly experience (sorry, young women… I know some of you are very intelligent.) It may sound like a weird combo, but everyone has their thing, right? Since you seem to have your finger on the cougar pulse, are there lots of older women virgins, and where does one meet these delicate flowers ready to bloom? -Erin
A: Hi Erin. I will admit, this is one of the more unusual questions/requests I’ve had on Ask Ava, but I love it! Everyone needs or can benefit from dating tips, so you’re on the right blog for that. We have many different writers offering their advice, with blogger Zac recently joining to offer a man’s perspective. I get the impression you’re confident in your sexual prowess – a definite turn on for women of all ages! I do wonder if you are looking for a submissive older woman when you say “teach and guide”.
I understand you’re interest in the wisdom an older woman can provide. Maybe she can “teach and guide” you in other areas of life. Now… onto the virgin side of things. You can never assume a woman is a virgin by her looks or personality or behaviour, and you certainly can’t walk up to a woman and ask, “Have you had your cherry popped?” So because of your “virgin + older woman” and possible interest in bdsm, your best way to go is online dating. You can either state your specific interests in your profile or look for these qualities in hers. Because sex is a factor, you’ll probably want to use a more “adult” dating site where people don’t shy away from “sex talk” early on. There are many cougar sites or bdsm sites you can peruse before paying for a membership.
Male virgins have always been fodder for the media and movies, but women are more discreet in this area. I had a job years ago, where two of the women in their forties were virgins, but they seemed to be resigned to a lifetime of no sex. I can’t imagine, but they probably never imagined there were men like yourself, Erin, who were looking for them. Best of luck!
Men: Have you met virgin cougars before, and have you been their “first”?
Need advice on dating, relationships, or sex? SUBMIT YOUR QUESTION HERE, and who knows, you may appear in the next Cougar World newsletter. -xo Ava