Have you been dumped because of your needy tendencies – constantly looking for approval, wanting to spend all your time with your lady, letting your own social life fall by the wayside, wanting to know where she is at every moment, or the killer – becoming super jealous of other people in her life?
These are variables of the clingy personality, but one constant is: women don’t like needy men. We don’t want to think you’re dependent on us for your happiness. As women get older, this needy trait becomes intolerable because we’ve become very independent.
A clingy man can always get a girl because they idolize and usually treat women very well. This “putting her on a pedestal” behaviour often masks the insecurities that seep out later and drive women away.
Now, I’m not saying I’ve never felt or acted clingy in a relationship. We all have insecurities that manifest in various forms. When we meet a wonderful person, a natural fear is to think you may lose that person who was so hard to find in the first place.
What can you do about feeling needy?
1. Be confident. Saying things like, “I can’t believe you’re with me, “You could have anyone?” or “I’m afraid someone is going to steal you.” are only going to push her away.
2.Recognize why you’re behaving needy. Are you afraid of losing her? Are you jealous? Examining the emotions underneath your behaviour will help you pull back.
2. Talk about your emotions. Trying to hide your insecurities is unhealthy. Buried emotions have a way of surfacing eventually, and (in my experience) not in a good way. Women appreciate when a man admits his clingy tendencies, and there’s nothing hotter than a young man who is self-aware.
3.Remember life before her. How has your life changed since you met this awesome gal. Are you neglecting friends and family? Have your interests faded? Do you only try new things if your partner is involved? Immersing yourself in someone else’s life is not healthy or attractive. If you notice this shift when you meet a woman, put the brakes on and get back on track before she gets creeped out and leaves.
4. Make plans without her. This shows her you don’t need her all the time, that you have a life of your own. It will also remind you that she trusts you, and that you shouldn’t be concerned when she’s out doing her own thing. You may have a hot woman that men notice, but she’s not going to respond to other men if she’s into you.
The woman in your life wants to know that she’s an important part of your life but not the only part. Individuality, trust, and respect for yourself and your partner are integral to a successful romantic relationship.
Do you have clingy tendencies? How do you manage them?