Just the Tips

How to Gain Dating Confidence

The dating jungle is difficult to navigate through, especially for younger men who are seeking older women. Cougars are attracted to confidence and this can take time to build. Rejection doesn’t help, but the mistakes and experiences of dating do help over time. Tips to help you boost your dating confidence . . .

Conversation
If you’re a loner that spends most of his time browsing dating sites and sending women messages like “What’s up?” or “How was your day?” you need a little help which can only come in the form of practice. Get out there and date for real. Talk to women at the library, grocery store, at work – whatever it takes to make you feel relaxed and at ease. Anxiety rubs off and two nervous people never make for a good date. It’s okay to plan topics that you enjoy and feel at ease talking about ahead of time, just don’t bring notes with you;)

Interests
There’s nothing more boring than meeting a guy who has no hobbies or interests other than watching TV or playing video games. A lot of older women take care of themselves physically and hope that you will too. You don’t have to be hitting the gym four days a week but some kind of physical activity or sport is very appealing, and bonus – it’ll give you confidence in how you look and that comes across loud and clear to women. I always go to the gym before a date – it definitely gives me courage and calms my nerves.

Work
It doesn’t matter if you make six figures or minimum wage, if you hate what you do it has a definite effect on your self-confidence. No one wants to hear about your miserable work environment or how much you hate your boss. Older women don’t expect to be taken care of financially by younger men. It’s your enthusiasm and passion we’re after, so examine this part of your life because it does affect your appeal to women.

Appearance
Cougars like the laid back approach of younger men, but like any woman, we want to feel like we’re worth it to you guys when it comes to putting a little effort in. A shower and clean clothes go without saying, but maybe you want to get a haircut or buy a new shirt for the occasion, whatever it is that makes you feel good about yourself.

No Expectations
This one can be hard to keep in check, but it will raise your confidence naturally as there is nothing for you or your date, or the date itself, to live up to. What I find helps is to meet with a date sooner rather than later. The longer you chat online or on the phone, without ever having met, the easier it is to build up a fantasy about the person that may not exist.

Attraction
Lack of dating confidence is often related to how we see ourselves in the mirror, and if you aren’t GQ material you probably struggle with this. Let me tell you, women don’t always want the typically handsome man because they feel he’s probably a serial dater or one who is constantly being approached and tempted by other women. Also, women are much more open to what’s inside a man before making any decisions based on his appearance. I’ve met many guys, that if I had just seen a picture of him, wouldn’t think there would be a chance, but then when we talk and hang out there has been awesome chemistry – mentally, physically, and occasionally both!

Focus on Her
It’s easy to get preoccupied by your own dating anxiety and forget that there’s another person who might be nervous too. Older women generally do have a level of confidence that comes with age, but first dates make us a bit jittery as well. If you can focus on your date and do your best to help them feel at ease, you will too. Keep your uncomfortable feelings to yourself. No one wants to hear the words – anxious, depressed, down, tired, or panic attack on a first date. Positive words have a positive effect on conversation.

What gives you dating confidence?

Tell us what you think!

Tell us what you think!

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