Bondage is a great place to start if you are interested in the BDSM lifestyle. When I was younger, as with many people exploring their sexuality, it was the furthest thing from my mind. I was still learning what I liked and how to express that to partners, especially in new relationships.
As you get older your mind develops fantasies and sometimes fetishes that you want to fulfill, but it’s not always easy to communicate these to a lover. I think this is one of the reasons more and more younger men are interested in hooking up or being in relationships with older women who are very open to kink and sexual exploration.
Many of these women enjoy playing a submissive role in the bedroom and often this will include bondage. The feeling of helplessness is sometimes a relief from the need to be in control in their daily lives.
Bondage doesn’t have to be hardcore like you see in many porn videos. Most women don’t want to be hung from chains and whipped, but rather to be gently restrained and teased with sensory play before intercourse.
If you are hooking up with someone for the first time, it’s rare that bondage will come into play because a good amount of trust must be established between partners. This doesn’t mean that you can’t bring it up as pillow talk, just as a way to gauge her interest. You’ll be planting a seed that very likely will grow!
There are many great online stores like Kink Lovers to shop for bondage gear, but if you’re just starting out, don’t be afraid to get creative. I’ve used everything from nylons, ties, rope, cables, and belts for spontaneous bondage sessions.
How, when and where you’re going to tie up your partner is all part of the fun. Some couples like to plan these intimate encounters ahead of time in order to build anticipation, and so that they will have lots of time to explore.
There are many aspects of kink that seem to go hand in hand with restraints. Role playing, blindfolds, paddles, and sensory play work very well as enhancers to bondage. If you are inexperienced, don’t be afraid to let your mature lover take the lead. She may even be a dominant lover and want to tie you up. If this makes you anxious, talk about your limits and boundaries first.
Bondage play will take you to another level of intimacy with your lover. The trust you need to try bondage will only be deepened. Take note of what excites her most and watch her body for signs of pleasure.
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