Ask Ava

Ask Ava: She Wants an MMF Threesome

Woman and Two Men Smiling

Q: Dear Ava. I started dating older women when I realized that sex with them was a hell of a lot better than with women in their 20s… all that experience. I also discovered that these women were usually into kink in some way, whether it be bondage or playing dress-up. I like this because I don’t have to always be the initiator or feel like I’m pressuring my partner into doing something new or weird. Right now I’m on the other side. My current partner, a woman eight years my senior wants to have an MMF threesome – new to me! I’ve had a couple of FFM threesomes (very enjoyable!), but I have to say I’m uncomfortable with being naked or touching a man with a woman present. Should I suck it up or what?

Find an older woman for a threesome at Mature Kiss.

A: Hi Robert. Agreed, most older women are confident in their sexuality and this attracts younger men seeking a more explorative relationship. And when it comes to kink, you definitely have to be comfortable in your own skin and have trust with your partner.

It’s okay to initiate or share fantasies. Does that mean these will be fulfilled? Of course not. Everyone has their secret desires, but it doesn’t mean they are ready to try it. The FFM threesome seems to be a classic that most men dream about until it happens. From my experience, it’s always been more enjoyable for the man involved than the two women who can sometimes feel like they’re sharing or vying for “top spot.” This may be your partner’s past experience and why she wants to be the centre of attention in an MMF triad.

I don’t believe that lovers should do anything they’re not comfortable with just to please a partner or because they think they’ll lose a partner if they don’t. There are so many options on the sexual menu that there should be something you can both agree on. That said, I do believe that sexual compatibility is essential to a long-lasting relationship. And it does take time to build the trust that is required to try kinkier acts.

You don’t necessarily have to be naked or touch in an MMF threesome. You could sit fully clothed and merely be a voyeur. This cuckold experience can be very stimulating for couples. Or you could take your clothes off but discuss boundaries ahead of time that would establish a “no touch” policy between you and the other man. When it comes to sexual exploration, communication between you and your lady will help you find common ground. You may or may not end up trying the threesome, but you also won’t have to “suck it up.”

Guys: Do you have MMF threesome experience? Please share your thoughts in the comments.

Need advice on dating, relationships, or sex? SUBMIT YOUR QUESTION HERE, and who knows, you may appear in the next Cougar World newsletter. -xo Ava

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