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Ask Ava: How to Make a Long Distance Relationship Last

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Q: Dear Ava, I’ve been dating an older woman for two months, problem is she lives in another state, a seven hour drive away. We met online and talked for over a month before me met. I didn’t even think we would meet because of the distance factor, but I was curious to see if the chemistry I felt through text and phone calls would translate into real life.

It did! She was even more beautiful in person and really had her life together. So far we’ve visited each other once. I plan to go see her again in three weeks. Everyone says long distance relationships never work or last, but I at least want to give it a go and I’m pretty sure she wants the same. What advice can you give, besides from regular visits, that will help to make our relationship work.
– Mason, Cedar Falls

A: Dear Mason, You’re right, long distance relationships are difficult but can be successful if both partners are on the same page and willing to work at it. You said that you’re “pretty sure she wants the same.” Before you fall head over heels, make sure that she does want the same thing. Defining your relationship is an important first step. Are you girlfriend and boyfriend? Do you want on open or closed relationship?

Visits are paramount, the more the better. Always make the most of your time together with a focus on intimacy. I like that you both have been to one another’s homes – this gives the partnership an immediate equality. Daily communication helps strengthen the bond – texting, emails, skyping, and phone calls. Romantic gestures such as sending flowers, mix cds, or love letters by mail will also let her know you’re thinking about her when she’s not with you.

Make plans for upcoming visits, so you both have something to focus on and look forward to. Many long-distance couples struggle with jealousy, so you may have to manage these feelings. Just remember no relationship, no matter the distance, can survive without trust. Don’t distress and pine away if your lady isn’t home to take a call. Keep living your life, enjoying your interests, and staying positive. I truly believe that absence makes the heart grow fonder and know many successful couples that spend a great deal of their time apart. Best wishes for your new relationship, Mason.

Do you have any tips for making a long distance relationship last?

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