Ask Ava

Ask Ava: Bondage with Older Women

Sexy Woman Tied Up

Q: Dear Ava. I’ve just begun to date older women, and I’m finding the sex so much more experimental. I’ve always had a lot kinky ideas, but the one and only time I shared my fantasies with a lover, she called me a pervert and that was that. It was a watershed moment where I thought, hey, why don’t I try dating older women, they’re probably much more liberated in the bedroom, and yep, I was right. My main kink, so far, is bondage. I don’t consider myself a dominant, but the idea of tying a woman up and teasing her for a long time before we actually have sex, excites me. That hasn’t happened so far, but I did have one cougar tie me up; although I enjoyed it, she wasn’t into going the other way. Are many women, older or otherwise into bondage; I’m worried that mature women are more into the tying up than being tied because of their confidence. Do I need to join a kinky dating site to find what I’m looking for? -Dave

A: Hi Dave. Always fantastic to hear from younger men moving into cougar territory. Not all, but most older women do bring their experience to the bedroom, so look out, and enjoy! I find most of the ladies I know are either naturally kinky or became more sexually adventurous as they got older. I consider bondage pretty light fare when it comes to the world of bdsm, but there is also a broad spectrum within bondage to explore. I identify with you in that, while I certainly don’t consider myself a submissive, I do prefer to be tied up, rather than do the tying. We like what we like, right?

I can’t really speak to the number of women who are into bondage, or not, but there are lots. The only thing you do have to keep in mind is that most women, older or not, are not going to let a young cub tie them up on the first date. It really is one of those bedroom fun things that requires trust before delving in. But once you’ve got that, you’re on your way. So if you’re just into casual sex with cougars, bondage may be more difficult to procure. I do recommend kinky dating sites if you really want to explore your bondage fantasies because the tamer sites like OK Cupid don’t really cater to the bdsm crowd. If I see a profile there that mentions bondage, I don’t reply. I see it as something more intimate to share after I get to know someone. Check out these bondage dating sites if you really want to get specific with what you’re looking for. These sites don’t shy away from sexual proclivities, so members are loud and proud about their fetishes and fantasies.

Welcome to the jungle, Dave, and happy hunting for a bondage playmate!

Need advice on dating, relationships, or sex? SUBMIT YOUR QUESTION HERE, and who knows, you may appear in the next Cougar World newsletter. -xo Ava

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