Ask Ava

Ask Ava: My Relationship is Too Vanilla

Handcuffs and Key

Q: Dear Ava. I always thought older women were super experienced when it came to sex, but the woman I’m dating now is eight years older and somewhat reserved in the bedroom. How can we add spice to our sex? -Barry

A: Hi Barry. Not every mature woman has had the experience or opportunities to explore her wild side, and of course, there are some women who just haven’t met the man who can unleash her dormant desires. If you want to make your love life more interesting, you can try exploring a little kink with your cougar.

5 Kinky Activities to Add Flavour to Your Vanilla Sex

1. Sensory Play
We all like to be touched but why not make it exciting by adding a variety of stimulating sensations. This could be anything from ice cubes to wax to feathers to floggers. And when you’re ready to take it to the next level, you can bring in blindfolds to enhance you or your partner’s anticipation.

2. Role Playing
Pretend play in the bedroom adds an element of fun to any sexual activity. If you and your partner already have a playful relationship, this is a perfect way to explore kink without it feeling too heavy or serious. Use your imagination and see where it takes you.

3. Bondage
This type of kink takes a great deal of trust and isn’t recommended for new lovers. Most partners will find the naturally submissive person will enjoy being tied up, while the more dominant may be reluctant. It’s a good idea to talk about this beforehand, to ensure limits and boundaries are set.

4. Striptease
The slow burn before sex is the most tantalizing foreplay and a striptease is just one suggestion. A woman who is made to feel sexy and desirable will enjoy performing for her partner. If she’s not keen on this idea, try visiting a strip club together to heat things up before you get home.

5. Threesome
This act requires trust and planning. It’s recommended that you choose a third together, and someone who you both don’t know. You may even find someone for regular encounters. Many couples are opening up their relationships to enhance their sexual exploration.

How do you keep things fresh and flavorful with a partner?

Need advice on dating, relationships, or sex? SUBMIT YOUR QUESTION HERE, and who knows, you may appear in the next Cougar World newsletter. -xo Ava

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